I'm about to shit my pants.
Haven't you seen the new "game day" Depends? They are endorsed by the NCAA and the NFL. They come in a wide assortment of colors and styles (team logos are available). A big favorite is the superpooper for very large dumpers. It is a special favorite of boilerpoop222 since it controls those embarrassing troll skid marks, and is specially designed for the biggest of assholes. Another is the IU logo design, which was the biggest seller in 2017. They're extremely helpful when your body functions just don't cooperate with your team's ability to close out games or stop skids.
And as a bonus, if you order your "game day" Depends in the next 60 minutes, you'll receive a second pair just by paying a second nominal handling fee. Wow! That's right, two pair for the price of one. Give one as a gift or keep it for yourself. Couples will appreciate the matching colors on game day since it promotes a closeness and secure feeling.
But wait, you'll also receive a signed poster from legendary coach Tom Crean during one of his most famous clapping games, titled "Clapping in and out of the Big Ten" This is sure to be a collector's item in no time. Note: This poster is for extremely mature audiences only. Some scenes may not be appropriate for those under 60.
Order now!!!
Go Boilers!