Does Rutgers travel with carry-out from Jersey Mike’s? Will UCLA try to camp in our courtyard? Would Wisconsin feel at home if everyone in Mackey cut the cheese?
Since Wooden Drive has been blocked from traffic, shouldn’t it be “Wooden Walk?” Or maybe “The Wooden Bored Walk?” And why was the main drag next to the arena and the heart of campus ever named “Northwestern?” Should we rename our dog parks “Kittyland?”
If Stanley the Lion roars when a virgin walks by, what does Neil do? Say “Tranquility Base, here. The Eagle hasn’t landed?” If President Reagan could tour the Union, then saw that see-thru kitchen blocking the main hall, would we hear “Mr. Chiang, tear down this wall?” If Drew Brees tended bar at his Walk-On’s in the Union, would he lose his scholarship? If Braden Smith ran a drive-in, what would he dish besides baskets? Could he be mistaken for Brad Miller?
Did George Faerber’s pioneer work as a Mackey glass-cleaner inspire him to found Bee Windows? Should “The Rocket” be included in “The Cradle of Astronauts?” If Gene Keady had to stand in as coach and saw a terrible call, what would he throw into the stands these days? Does Matt Painter need a Century 21 jacket? Will Armani ever come back? Old Navy forever?
If an opponent bricks two straight free throws, don’t Mackey fans deserve better than iu fries? Really, iu fries? Anyone gotten sick on those helltown imports yet?
Do our cheerleaders really have to wear more makeup than a 1950s summer stock troupe? Are they prepping for epic paintball fights with the real Paint Crew? Shouldn’t Pete have to pile it on, too? When the Boiler Brass plays the Ides of March tune, aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves?
When the video boards say alcohol sales end at the under-10-minute timeout of the second half, doesn’t that mean they should never end, since there is no such thing? Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?
With all those sub-zero nights in the second semester, did we miss the Nude Olympics? Again? Cary on.
Since Wooden Drive has been blocked from traffic, shouldn’t it be “Wooden Walk?” Or maybe “The Wooden Bored Walk?” And why was the main drag next to the arena and the heart of campus ever named “Northwestern?” Should we rename our dog parks “Kittyland?”
If Stanley the Lion roars when a virgin walks by, what does Neil do? Say “Tranquility Base, here. The Eagle hasn’t landed?” If President Reagan could tour the Union, then saw that see-thru kitchen blocking the main hall, would we hear “Mr. Chiang, tear down this wall?” If Drew Brees tended bar at his Walk-On’s in the Union, would he lose his scholarship? If Braden Smith ran a drive-in, what would he dish besides baskets? Could he be mistaken for Brad Miller?
Did George Faerber’s pioneer work as a Mackey glass-cleaner inspire him to found Bee Windows? Should “The Rocket” be included in “The Cradle of Astronauts?” If Gene Keady had to stand in as coach and saw a terrible call, what would he throw into the stands these days? Does Matt Painter need a Century 21 jacket? Will Armani ever come back? Old Navy forever?
If an opponent bricks two straight free throws, don’t Mackey fans deserve better than iu fries? Really, iu fries? Anyone gotten sick on those helltown imports yet?
Do our cheerleaders really have to wear more makeup than a 1950s summer stock troupe? Are they prepping for epic paintball fights with the real Paint Crew? Shouldn’t Pete have to pile it on, too? When the Boiler Brass plays the Ides of March tune, aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves?
When the video boards say alcohol sales end at the under-10-minute timeout of the second half, doesn’t that mean they should never end, since there is no such thing? Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care?
With all those sub-zero nights in the second semester, did we miss the Nude Olympics? Again? Cary on.
