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NCAA To Increase College Football Field dimensions (A Babylon Bee-like read)

Woodsa

Redshirt Freshman
Jul 18, 2004
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Dateline - Indianapolis - August 21, 2023

The NCAA has proposed an expansion of the college football field by increasing its width to better to accommodate the growing number of members' logos in some conferences. Green Grassly, head of the NCAA field and turf division, stated, "there simply isn't enough room to put all the members' logos on the field between the 20's as required by current rules." Brick N. Mortar, Assistant Deputy of NCAA University Structures, "recognizes the hardship this may place on some universities" but is "confident they can squeeze the added width within the current structures. "Some facilities will get creative and have teams stand at the ends of the fields", said Brick.

"Some conferences have ballooned to enormous sizes making available field real estate more scarce than homeless tent space in San Francisco", said Grassly. The Big Ten only exemplifies the points made by NCAA officials as at press time, the conference was over 20 teams and would make up nearly 33% of the NCAA field of 64 for the national basketball tournament. Admittedly, no conference would get all their teams into post-season play as even the B10 has perennial disappointments, such as Indiana, who hasn't seen a post-season football game with a coach still alive today.

NCAA Rules committee is the next internal division to take up the proposal but made it clear that the earliest any such change could be implemented would be 2025. When asked for her thoughts, US VP Harris said, "its important to recognize the change that is taking place within college conference communities. Change is important and represents things not being the same as they were at the start of the conversation. And we need to recognize that difference. <creepy laugh>.
 
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