Adrian Peterson

[Boilermaker66]

I do not (and will probably never) understand all of the indignation over a parent spanking his son.
It would be a a service if the media stopped describing a willow switch as a tree branch.
I suppose that is what it is, but it makes it sound like Peterson beat his son with a makeshift club.
From the pictures that I saw, the boy had some welts on his legs - a willow switch will do that.

I grew up in a very different era, one in which a child who misbehaved was spanked.
Parents, teachers and even close relatives spanked. Were we emotionally scarred by this experience? NO.
I was spanked exactly once in grade school (3rd grade). The only spanking not administered by a parent.

All of the kids in the class knew that the teacher's upper left desk drawer held the dreaded paddle.
This instrument was, as I remember, about 2 feet long by about 3 inches wide and approximately 1/2 inch thick.
The miscreant was directed to the front of the class, bent over the teachers desk and whacked 3 times on the butt.
I have no recollection of what behavior on my part resulted in the spanking, but I do know that I NEVER did it again.

I did not end up emotionally scarred and neither did either of my 2 children.
Spanking was very infrequent and ONLY for really serious transgressions on their part.

There are many unacceptable practices which deserve indignation (domestic violence, real child abuse, etc)
but I do not feel that an occasional spanking of a misbehaveing child falls in the same category.

 

[hunkgolden]

As a parent of two (ages 14 and 12), there is no doubt in my mind that if a parent resorts to spanking then they either don't know how to parent or how to effectively communicate...or both. My wife and I have never spanked, put in timeout, grounded, or etc either of our kids. Very early on we gave them specific expectations on how to behave with occasional reminders thru today. It takes a little extra time to sit down with them and fully explain what the expectations are and why we have those expectations but it saves us A LOT of time/trouble on the back end. Neither of our kids has ever gotten in trouble at school or in any sport/association they are a part of. In fact, more often than not we receive words of praise from adults who associate with them.
IMO, spanking is nothing more than lazy and frustrated parenting.

 

[BoilerGrad02]

I have a daughter and my wife and I have never spanked her. I do however believe a parent should be able to spank their child within reason (I personally don't think it's effective but to each his own).

What I've seen from Peterson goes beyond what is acceptable and if the reports of groin area lacerations are true he should spend time in jail/prison. What did the child do to deserve lacerations? Steal something? Be disrespectful? Nope, interrupted a game another child was playing. Peterson comes across as easily frustrated and instead of discussing the situation with the child, he can't control his own emotions and behaves like a frustrated child himself. Quite the example to set for the child.

They've found text messages to another one of his son's mothers. By the way how many children with different mothers does this guy have? Real display of discipline there Adrian. Maybe practice some discipline and not knock up every tart that comes calling. He say's that the 4 year old wouldn't have gotten a scar on his face if he would have held still. Anyone who thinks it's appropriate to permanently scar their child as discipline is just screwed up.

There are also reports of a "whooping room". If Peterson's discipline method is so effective why does he need an entire room devoted to it? Effective methods don't have to be repeated over and over.

Using the past as a justification for the present is very flawed. Human beings learn as they evolve and that leads to some previously accepted idea's being considered unacceptable. Everything from segregated schools and second hand smoke can be argued with "I grew up in this type of environment in the past and turned out all right so it must be okay".

And finally this is the same man who complained about snowballs being thrown at him while he was in full pads and a helmet. A 215 lbs man striking a child repeatedly and drawing blood is acceptable but throwing a snowball at a football player, now that's dangerous and has no place in society.

Peterson comes off like Ray Rice. Another grown man with the intellectual development of a 11-12 year old. I'm big and strong so if something frustrates me and won't do what I say I can smash it.
This post was edited on 9/17 9:30 AM by BoilerGrad02

 

[BoilersRock]

Wow,

Originally posted by hunkgolden:
As a parent of two (ages 14 and 12), there is no doubt in my mind that if a parent resorts to spanking then they either don't know how to parent or how to effectively communicate...or both. My wife and I have never spanked, put in timeout, grounded, or etc either of our kids. Very early on we gave them specific expectations on how to behave with occasional reminders thru today. It takes a little extra time to sit down with them and fully explain what the expectations are and why we have those expectations but it saves us A LOT of time/trouble on the back end. Neither of our kids has ever gotten in trouble at school or in any sport/association they are a part of. In fact, more often than not we receive words of praise from adults who associate with them.
IMO, spanking is nothing more than lazy and frustrated parenting.

I completely and whole-heartedly agree with EVERYTHING you said.

Communication is key.

 

[gr8indoorsman]

I'll be sure to tell my parents that they were lazy and failed parenting me properly because they spanked me a few times while I was growing up. Gosh, I hope I turn out OK.

You guys remind me of California liberals with respect to a lot of things: "If you don't do it my way, you're just stupid and wrong!"... which is pretty much exactly what you said.

I hope you don't tear something patting yourself on the back...
This post was edited on 9/17 12:28 PM by gr8indoorsman

 

[pastorjoeboggs]

As a child, I was spanked. As a parent I have spanked. It does not happen often (almost never at this point), but there is an age when sitting down and talking are not effective if for no other reason than the kids are incapable of comprehending at the necessary level.

Having said all of that, I have never used anything other than my hand and think that the use of a weapon of any kind (paddle, belt, switch) crosses the line. Use of a weapon like that only serves one purpose - to increase pain - and if you are trying to increase pain, you have crossed the line into abuse.

Now, with Peterson, I agree with the comment above about the extent of the injuries/markings. "Discipline" doesn't leave defensive wounds.

 

[beardownboiler]

Originally posted by pastorjoeboggs:
As a child, I was spanked. As a parent I have spanked. It does not happen often (almost never at this point), but there is an age when sitting down and talking are not effective if for no other reason than the kids are incapable of comprehending at the necessary level.

Having said all of that, I have never used anything other than my hand and think that the use of a weapon of any kind (paddle, belt, switch) crosses the line. Use of a weapon like that only serves one purpose - to increase pain - and if you are trying to increase pain, you have crossed the line into abuse.

Now, with Peterson, I agree with the comment above about the extent of the injuries/markings. "Discipline" doesn't leave defensive wounds.

I agree wholeheartedly with both you and gr8. I was spanked very rarely as a child, and never with anything more than a hand. Either way, I don't think kids really learn that there are actual negative consequences if they aren't actually punished for things. I don't have kids, though, so my spanking experience is limited.

As for Peterson . . . please . . the guy left cuts and marks and wound up hitting the kid in the sack. That's not spanking. That's abusive.

 

[Boilermaker66]

Thank you, GR8

Spanking was a VERY rare occurrance and occurred after MANY sessions of explaining to the child why little Johnny or Suzy didn't enjoy being whacked with a stick or having their (whatever) possession taken from them or that it was a bad idea the test the tensile strength of a window by throwing a rock or that cutting a hole in the carpet to see what was underneath was not acceptable.

It continues to amaze me that every generation (seemingly) thinks that they are so much wiser than the preceding generations.

 

[gr8indoorsman]

Re: Thank you, GR8


Wasn't going to mention this, but hunk's post torqued me off enough that I will... I've found that parents who think their kids are exceptionally well-behaved are usually ignoring a lot of behaviors to serve their self-image as exceptional parents. No one gets it 100% right 100% of the time, and anyone who tells you they do (like hunk) is a big, fat liar. I find it hard to believe that hunk and others have been able to reason with and hold rational discussions with their kids when they were, say five.

You don't want to spank? That's fine. It's awfully self-righteous to define people who choose to spank as lazy or lacking parenting skills. I hope his nose isn't bleeding up in his crystal palace.

I'd love to meet his perfect kids, too, and put this theory to practice.

 

[BBG]

I was spanked as a kid and contrary to what some might think on here, I turned out okay. It wasn't frequent and a grounding or confined to a chair because I was being an ass was more the norm for my punishments. However, the fear of potentially getting spanked was usually enough with the occasional reminder was sometimes needed.

What people need to quit doing is thinking that there is a "one size fits all" punishment. Each child is different and different things will work where other tactics won't.

I see no harm in spanking as long as it isn't so frequent that it becomes a part-time job... well ... unless you're paying for it, but that is a different topic for a different day.

 

[Boilermaker66]

A rational individual

There are 4 (perhaps more) people on this board with whom I would love to sit down and have a beer with (in my case, probably a Coke as I have no tolerance for alcohol). DocRon, PastorJoe, Noodle and you. My politics would probably be slightly more in line with the first 2, but you and Noodle are thinking conservatives - with well thought out reasons for your beliefs. I respect that.

There is some slight Navy history in my family - a cousin who was a Navy recruiter - somewhere in the western states where you didn't expect to find a naval presence, an uncle who served on the USS Guam CB-2 (both during WW2) and I did a tour on the USS Daniel Joy DE585. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on transferring service from one of those tiny brown water ships to a huge aircraft carrier.

I expect disagreement on many topics, as I am of another generation (DOB12/16/1937), but I have little (if any) tolerance for the "holier-than-thou" attitude that I sometimes see here. Most likely, 5 minutes in the same room as GMM and I would run out the door, screaming obscenities.

 

[hunkgolden]

Re: Thank you, GR8

Originally posted by gr8indoorsman:

Wasn't going to mention this, but hunk's post torqued me off enough that I will... I've found that parents who think their kids are exceptionally well-behaved are usually ignoring a lot of behaviors to serve their self-image as exceptional parents. No one gets it 100% right 100% of the time, and anyone who tells you they do (like hunk) is a big, fat liar. I find it hard to believe that hunk and others have been able to reason with and hold rational discussions with their kids when they were, say five.

You don't want to spank? That's fine. It's awfully self-righteous to define people who choose to spank as lazy or lacking parenting skills. I hope his nose isn't bleeding up in his crystal palace.

I'd love to meet his perfect kids, too, and put this theory to practice.

Whatever makes you feel better. I didn't post what I wrote for personal gain - no one knows who I or my kids are so what good would that do? Simply relaying my personal story about how we raised our kids and what we see other parents doing with their kids.

Let me know the next time you're in Indy - you're more than welcome to meet my wife and kids and see for yourself how our parenting skills have worked or not worked. You can ask them yourself if we've ever punished them in anyway. While you're at it, you can ask them if they've ever gotten in trouble at school or anywhere else. You can also ask them if what adults who they are associated with think of them - teachers, coaches, friend's parents, and etc. Hell I'll even give you phone #'s of these folks for you to speak with since you seem to think my story is so incredulous.

Am I proud of the way our 2 kids are turning out? You betcha! Do I think our decision to communicate and layout expectations very early on had a lot to do with how they are today? Absolutely!

Sorry my real life account torqued you off so much.

 

[BoilerGrad02]

Re: Thank you, GR8


Well as I said in my original post, I think parents should be able to spank, within reason, if they feel it's effective.

My objection was to what Adrian Peterson did to at least two of his children which the OP seemed to be justifying because of his experiences growing up. The discussion has changed into a for and against spanking discussion.

I just find it hard to listen to someone (Peterson) about how they're a strict disciplinarian when reports are coming out that he has anywhere from 7-10 children around the country, one who he didn't even know about until he was tragically killed. If a person of character wanted to discuss their reasons for spanking their child I would listen and respect their opinion (even though I may not agree with it). If Adrian Peterson wants to talk about discipline it comes off as hypocritical since he's been knocking up women from coast to coast and hasn't even known how many children he's actually fathered.

So I guess to the OP, if you want to argue spanking as effective discipline you're certainly entitled to but bring up Adrian Peterson and what he did doesn't strengthen your position in my eyes, it weakens it because he's an example of what can go wrong when you become over zealous with physical discipline.

 

[gr8indoorsman]

Re: A rational individual


And likewise. Always willing to share a beer and talk. I have a lot to learn and gain from the perspective of others, and I don't presume to have all the answers. I'd rather have a conversation with someone who accepts that their view can and should be challenged, rather than one who simply regurgitates a party line but doesn't really understand the why behind their argument.

 

[beardownboiler]

Re: A rational individual

Originally posted by Boilermaker66:
There are 4 (perhaps more) people on this board with whom I would love to sit down and have a beer with (in my case, probably a Coke as I have no tolerance for alcohol). DocRon, PastorJoe, Noodle and you. My politics would probably be slightly more in line with the first 2, but you and Noodle are thinking conservatives - with well thought out reasons for your beliefs. I respect that.

There is some slight Navy history in my family - a cousin who was a Navy recruiter - somewhere in the western states where you didn't expect to find a naval presence, an uncle who served on the USS Guam CB-2 (both during WW2) and I did a tour on the USS Daniel Joy DE585. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on transferring service from one of those tiny brown water ships to a huge aircraft carrier.

I expect disagreement on many topics, as I am of another generation (DOB12/16/1937), but I have little (if any) tolerance for the "holier-than-thou" attitude that I sometimes see here. Most likely, 5 minutes in the same room as GMM and I would run out the door, screaming obscenities.

Sadly, there are few posters on this board that do anything but toe the party line. Those you listed (especially the last two) are a big reason I keep coming back . . and to see what crazy stuff certain unnamed posters toss out there.

I try to get away from it . . but this place keeps drawing me back in . . . .

 

[gr8indoorsman]

Re: Thank you, GR8


That's all fine and good, but my guess is it's not working as rosily as you think. As I asked, how did it work out rationalizing with your five-year-old?

My oldest sister did the same thing: always present choices, let them decide, then discuss the outcome with her kids so they would understand negative consequences rather than punishing her kids. Her two kids are each on medication and one of them is consistently in trouble at school. They've grown up with iPads in front of their faces and struggle to interact respectfully with adults. Would anyone say this directly to her? Probably not - I haven't because I don't have to deal with them often.

But if you ask her, she's got all the answers.

My other sister does the same thing: rationalizing and discussing. The difference is, when the kids crossed the line where they weren't being rational or weren't capable of rationalizing, there was punishment - a negative consequence. This may have been a quick spanking or simply taking a desired item away.

Her kids are some of the best I've ever had the pleasure being around.

When I let one of my coworkers read your post, he said "Those types of parents who think that way are usually the ones that end up with pregnant teenage daughters," so I'm not alone in how I read your self-promotion, holier-than-thou post.

Maybe you're right. Maybe your method works great for your specific kids in your specific environment. Where you lost me was when you called anyone who doesn't do it your way lazy, ignorant, frustrated, and stupid.

Get over yourself.

I might take you up on the offer to spend time with your kids so I can put theory to practice, but frankly, I don't think I would want to bother spending time with you. Hopefully they end up a little bit more open-minded than Daddy.

 

[BoilersRock]

Re: Thank you, GR8

I didn't get from hunk's post the idea that he was calling out everyone, but rather anyone who chooses spanking a majority of the time to correct their kids....sort of like the ones you see at wallyworld who have to resort to yelling to keep their kids under control.

 

[Casey and his Brother]

So, welts on a 4 year old don't constitute "real child abuse?" Go fü[/B]ck yourself.

 

[qazplm]

to me spanking should only be used

in the following situations:

1. when the child is doing or about to do something that will cause real, physical harm to themselves.

2. when they are unable to understand not to do it via some other method.

If a 4-year-old is about to stick a fork into a light socket, I think a swat on the butt may be necessary to tie such an act to pain. Explaining how electricity works might fall on deaf ears. Or same with running into traffic after a ball.
Other than that, I fail to see any circumstance where spanking is the only method that would work vice other types of intervention, and if you have two workable options, one involving violence, and one not, I'm hard-pressed to see why the former is ever preferable or justifiable.

I was spanked, but I gotta tell you, that had zero to do with any changes in my behavior. Grounding, restriction from toys or TV or what have you? That was way more effective.

 

[gr8indoorsman]

Originally posted by BoilersRock:
I didn't get from hunk's post the idea that he was calling out everyone, but rather anyone who chooses spanking a majority of the time to correct their kids....sort of like the ones you see at wallyworld who have to resort to yelling to keep their kids under control.

If that is what he meant, he should've been a little more clear about it and perhaps avoided "lazy" and "don't know anything about parenting." IMO, and based on his many other posts here, hunk thinks he's a hell of a lot better than everyone else, and anyone who does or thinks differently is stupid. That is how he comes across consistently. Just another carryover of that.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[hunkgolden]

Re: Thank you, GR8

Originally posted by BoilersRock:
I didn't get from hunk's post the idea that he was calling out everyone, but rather anyone who chooses spanking a majority of the time to correct their kids....sort of like the ones you see at wallyworld who have to resort to yelling to keep their kids under control.

I'm not sweating it. I don't think most of those contributing to this thread even have kids - which is pretty damn funny when you think about it.

I'm a little surprised that my awesome kids and the manner in which I raised them have honked off some on here. I can't wait to learn more on the subject of parenting...from those who don't have kids. LOL

 

[gr8indoorsman]

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Originally posted by BoilersRock:
I didn't get from hunk's post the idea that he was calling out everyone, but rather anyone who chooses spanking a majority of the time to correct their kids....sort of like the ones you see at wallyworld who have to resort to yelling to keep their kids under control.

I'm not sweating it.  I don't think most of those contributing to this thread even have kids - which is pretty damn funny when you think about it.

I'm a little surprised that my awesome kids and the manner in which I raised them have honked off some on here.  I can't wait to learn more on the subject of parenting...from those who don't have kids.  LOL 

I personally don't give a crap how you raise your kids. I also would t judge or call anyone lazy or stupid for something as trivial as the occasional spanking. Just like you don't care about my opinion, I don't care what self-righteous prigs think about me, either.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[hunkgolden]

Raise a kid or two and get back with me in 15 years. Then I might actually listen to what you have to say on this subject.

 

[boilerpt]

Pot, meet Kettle. You, yourself, haven't RAISED a child. You are still RAISING children. Your kids are 14 and 12, correct? Reading your posts in this thread,
one would think that your kids are grown and have perfect families of
their own. I hate to break it to you, but your days of parenting are
far from over. If fact, many would likely agree that the most
challenging years are yet to come. Personally, I think it's extremely arrogant, and naive, to think you're an authority on parenting when you've got one that's not even a teenager yet.

 

[gr8indoorsman]

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Raise a kid or two and get back with me in 15 years.  Then I might actually listen to what you have to say on this subject.

What subject is that? Calling anyone who doesn't do things your way lazy and stupid? Because, yeah, clearly I need to raise children to criticize you for that. You'll note I haven't once criticized your method - I am glad it seems to be working for you. I am only appalled by your self-righteousness.

Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[beardownboiler]

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Raise a kid or two and get back with me in 15 years. Then I might actually listen to what you have to say on this subject.

Um, even if someone said this to you when your first kid was born . . . you still wouldn't have gotten back to them yet. So . . . why does he need 15 years of experience raising children and you don't?

 

[hunkgolden]

Originally posted by boilerpt:
Pot, meet Kettle. You, yourself, haven't RAISED a child. You are still RAISING children. Your kids are 14 and 12, correct? Reading your posts in this thread,
one would think that your kids are grown and have perfect families of
their own. I hate to break it to you, but your days of parenting are
far from over. If fact, many would likely agree that the most
challenging years are yet to come. Personally, I think it's extremely arrogant, and naive, to think you're an authority on parenting when you've got one that's not even a teenager yet.

COMPLETELY missing the point. No kidding that I'm still parenting. Gee thanks for letting me know because I thought I was done. LOL

I said 15 years because those who choose to beat their kids are generally done doing so by the time the kid turns 15 - at least I hope they are.

And yes, I'm 1,000 times more of an authority on what constitutes good parenting (as evident by the persons my two are turning out to be) than someone who doesn't have children.

Arrogant - possibly? Extremely confident that my wife and I's parenting skills are way more effective than parents who beat their kids instead of taking the time to CONSTANTLY communicate to their children from a young age (yes even younger than 5 - shows just how ignorant some of you are on the subject)? Absolutely!

 

[hunkgolden]

Originally posted by gr8indoorsman:

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Originally posted by BoilersRock:
I didn't get from hunk's post the idea that he was calling out everyone, but rather anyone who chooses spanking a majority of the time to correct their kids....sort of like the ones you see at wallyworld who have to resort to yelling to keep their kids under control.

I'm not sweating it. I don't think most of those contributing to this thread even have kids - which is pretty damn funny when you think about it.

I'm a little surprised that my awesome kids and the manner in which I raised them have honked off some on here. I can't wait to learn more on the subject of parenting...from those who don't have kids. LOLÂ

I personally don't give a crap how you raise your kids. I also would t judge or call anyone lazy or stupid for something as trivial as the occasional spanking. Just like you don't care about my opinion, I don't care what self-righteous prigs think about me, either.


Posted from Rivals Mobile

Let's say for arguments sake that there were a study done by The American Academy of Pediatrics that clearly showed that beating children had negative effects on the kid's behavior later in life. If such a study existed, what would you say about a parent who continued to beat their child(ren) in spite of these findings? One might say that these parents were ignorant about the effects of the beatings they were handing out. One might also say that these parents weren't taking the time consuming proactive approach of communicating to their children from a young age but instead taking the reactionary approach of beating the children. In other words stupid and lazy.

If only such a study existed...

Oops it does. Now shut your ignorant pie hole.

 

[hunkgolden]

Re: to me spanking should only be used

From the author of the study I linked above:

"Spanking does make the kid stop. It gives the immediate feedback that it's working. But the goal is to have kids regulate themselves over time. And in that, spanking fails."

Maternal spanking at age 5, even at low levels, was associated with higher levels of child externalizing behavior at age 9, even after an array of risks and earlier child behavior were controlled for. Father's high-frequency spanking at age 5 was associated with lower child receptive vocabulary scores at age 9.

"We found there were impacts not just on the behavioral development that folks normally look at, but also on markers of cognitive development, like the verbal capacity of the child. These effects are long-lasting. They aren't just short-term problems that wash out over time. And the effects were stronger for those who were spanked more than twice a week."

"There's just no evidence that spanking is good for kids. Spanking models aggression as a way of solving problems, that you can hit people and get what you want."

 

[qazplm]

Re: to me spanking should only be used

well duh, exactly what I just said. For things where there is an
immediate danger, spanking makes the kid stop. For things where there is
a non-life-threatening situation, spanking is a poorer alternative to
non-violent options.

 

[kescwi]

Originally posted by boilerpt:
...If fact, many would likely agree that the most
challenging years are yet to come.  Personally, I think it's extremely arrogant, and naive, to think you're an authority on parenting when you've got one that's not even a teenager yet. 

Yep that's what I was thinking. The teens and early 20's, what a joy. I've seen those years deflate many a child rearing expert, including my wife and me.

But for all that trouble these past few years have been an absolute joy watching him become a man and begin his life.

I bet many parents who are honest hold some regrets that's why I generally disregard all of the "experts." It's a tough business.

I wonder if hunk has a boy if he will come on here and admit he raised a thug when the testosterone starts hitting and the kids brain turns to mush and he makes stupid decisions and gets in a little trouble. I doubt it I think he reserves that BS for AA teens only.
Posted from Rivals Mobile

 

[pastorjoeboggs]

Re: A rational individual

Originally posted by Boilermaker66:
There are 4 (perhaps more) people on this board with whom I would love to sit down and have a beer with (in my case, probably a Coke as I have no tolerance for alcohol). DocRon, PastorJoe, Noodle and you. My politics would probably be slightly more in line with the first 2, but you and Noodle are thinking conservatives - with well thought out reasons for your beliefs. I respect that.

There is some slight Navy history in my family - a cousin who was a Navy recruiter - somewhere in the western states where you didn't expect to find a naval presence, an uncle who served on the USS Guam CB-2 (both during WW2) and I did a tour on the USS Daniel Joy DE585. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on transferring service from one of those tiny brown water ships to a huge aircraft carrier.

I expect disagreement on many topics, as I am of another generation (DOB12/16/1937), but I have little (if any) tolerance for the "holier-than-thou" attitude that I sometimes see here. Most likely, 5 minutes in the same room as GMM and I would run out the door, screaming obscenities.

I'd probably have to go with a Coke, too...

One of the reasons I chose to make my user name on here "pastorjoeboggs" when I signed up was to give myself another reason to make sure I'm reasonable in what I post. If your real name is going on the post, then you can no longer hide behind internet anonymity.

That said, hang around long enough and you'll run across a post where I forget that and act like an idiot...

 

[pastorjoeboggs]

Re: Thank you, GR8

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Originally posted by BoilersRock:
I didn't get from hunk's post the idea that he was calling out everyone, but rather anyone who chooses spanking a majority of the time to correct their kids....sort of like the ones you see at wallyworld who have to resort to yelling to keep their kids under control.

I'm not sweating it. I don't think most of those contributing to this thread even have kids - which is pretty damn funny when you think about it.

I'm a little surprised that my awesome kids and the manner in which I raised them have honked off some on here. I can't wait to learn more on the subject of parenting...from those who don't have kids. LOL

You do tend to come across as a bit holier-than-thou, you know.

I have two kids. They are pretty well-behaved for their age, but they're not perfect. If your parenting choices worked out as well as you claim, congratulations. That's not the norm. I agree with gr8, though, that calling all parents that spank lazy and ignorant is a wee bit arrogant and self-righteous.

 

[BTFU1986]

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Let's say for arguments sake that there were a study done by The American Academy of Pediatrics that clearly showed that beating children had negative effects on the kid's behavior later in life. If such a study existed, what would you say about a parent who continued to beat their child(ren) in spite of these findings? One might say that these parents were ignorant about the effects of the beatings they were handing out. One might also say that these parents weren't taking the time consuming proactive approach of communicating to their children from a young age but instead taking the reactionary approach of beating the children. In other words stupid and lazy.

If only such a study existed...

First off, the study wasn't done by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Second, did you even read this study or did you just read the abstract?

 

[hunkgolden]

Re: Thank you, GR8

Originally posted by pastorjoeboggs:

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Originally posted by BoilersRock:
I didn't get from hunk's post the idea that he was calling out everyone, but rather anyone who chooses spanking a majority of the time to correct their kids....sort of like the ones you see at wallyworld who have to resort to yelling to keep their kids under control.

I'm not sweating it. I don't think most of those contributing to this thread even have kids - which is pretty damn funny when you think about it.

I'm a little surprised that my awesome kids and the manner in which I raised them have honked off some on here. I can't wait to learn more on the subject of parenting...from those who don't have kids. LOL

You do tend to come across as a bit holier-than-thou, you know.

I have two kids. They are pretty well-behaved for their age, but they're not perfect. If your parenting choices worked out as well as you claim, congratulations. That's not the norm. I agree with gr8, though, that calling all parents that spank lazy and ignorant is a wee bit arrogant and self-righteous.

I really don't care how it sounds. Adults shouldn't be beating kids. I've witnessed parents beating kids many times and more often than not it comes off as either bullying and/or frustrated parents who can't control their emotions. If what I've written on this thread or the countless talks I've had with other parents about the subject saves 1 kid from getting beat then it was worth it. Again, I don't know anyone on the GD board (there's a couple of guys on the basketball board who know me and my family) so I could really care less what anyone on here thinks of me. But even if I did know some of you, I'd be saying the same thing because I've said the exact same stuff for years to friends on this very subject. And I know for a fact I've had an impact on a few different parents because they've told me. They see how my wife and I communicate with our kids and they see the end result.

A little OT but the key to the communication is to talk to your children like you would speak to an adult. Too many parents talk and treat their children like well....children. Sounds silly I know but my wife and I have always treated our kids with the same respect and dignity that we afford adults. We don't talk down to them, we don't speak "at" them, we don't ridicule them. If we ask them to do something or not do something we take the time to thoroughly explain why. Respect is a two way street. If you want your children to respect you, you must act respectful and treat them with the same level of respect you expect in return.

Parenting ain't easy - but for those of you who don't have children yet and plan on having a family down the road, please take the time to communicate early and often in your child's life. It will save you A TON of headaches/problems down the road. It will also make your life, home, and family much more enjoyable and less stressful.

 

[hunkgolden]

Originally posted by BTFU1986:

Originally posted by hunkgolden:



Let's say for arguments sake that there were a study done by The American Academy of Pediatrics that clearly showed that beating children had negative effects on the kid's behavior later in life. If such a study existed, what would you say about a parent who continued to beat their child(ren) in spite of these findings? One might say that these parents were ignorant about the effects of the beatings they were handing out. One might also say that these parents weren't taking the time consuming proactive approach of communicating to their children from a young age but instead taking the reactionary approach of beating the children. In other words stupid and lazy.

If only such a study existed...

First off, the study wasn't done by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

You're right - it was published by them.

 

[hunkgolden]

Re: Thank you, GR8

Originally posted by gr8indoorsman:

That's all fine and good, but my guess is it's not working as rosily as you think. As I asked, how did it work out rationalizing with your five-year-old?

Something I just remembered - my wife taught our kids bits of sign language when they were too young to speak. This allowed us to communicate with them but more importantly allowed them to communicate with us. Babies/toddlers cry for 3 reasons - they're hungry, they're tired, or they have to use the bathroom. Teaching our kids sign language so they could communicate kept the crying to a minimum.

Also, getting your baby/toddler on a sleep and eating schedule is the key to a happy baby and one that cries less.

All you childless parenting experts can thank me after you have children for all of these tips.

 

[BTFU1986]

Originally posted by hunkgolden:

Originally posted by BTFU1986:

Originally posted by hunkgolden:
If only such a study existed...

First off, the study wasn't done by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

You're right - it was published by them.

Published by and conducted by are two very different things.
This study doesn't say what you think it does. Refer to tables 2,3.

I really couldn't care less about spanking.

 

[boilergeek]

Hitting a child with a stick is wrong 100% of the time. There should be no debate on that.

 

[pastorjoeboggs]

Originally posted by boilergeek:
Hitting a child with a stick is wrong 100% of the time. There should be no debate on that.

Agree 100%.