The NCAA All-Elmer Fudd Team
Mad-Man Dan the Hairless Hurley, UConn
John Hairless-Hurley-Wannabe Groce, Akron
Kevin Wigged-Out Willard, Maryland
Mike Chrome-Dome Cronin, UCLA
Big-Shed Seth Greenberg, ESPN
The NCAA All-Yul Brenner Team
Cuonzo Makes-This-Look-Cool Martin, Missouri State
Mike Classic-Do-Flew-South Woodson, Free Agent
No-Hay Jay Bilas, ESPN
Clark Box-Top Kellogg, CBS
Charles Chucked-My-Burr Barkley, TBS
The NCAA Hair Jordan Futures Past Team
Chris OMG-I’m-Losing-To-Temple Collins, Northwestern
Ben Mohawkeye McCollum, Iowa
Shaka Got Smart, Marquette
Ritchie Big-Spray McKay, Liberty
Richard Why-Did-I-Take-After-Mom’s-Side Pitino, Xavier
Bottom Line: Come the fall (and we don’t mean autumn), plug or rug, shuck the sweatsuit and jump back into Armani. As Billy Crystal Ballin’ used to say, “It’s better to look good than to feel good.”
Mad-Man Dan the Hairless Hurley, UConn
John Hairless-Hurley-Wannabe Groce, Akron
Kevin Wigged-Out Willard, Maryland
Mike Chrome-Dome Cronin, UCLA
Big-Shed Seth Greenberg, ESPN
The NCAA All-Yul Brenner Team
Cuonzo Makes-This-Look-Cool Martin, Missouri State
Mike Classic-Do-Flew-South Woodson, Free Agent
No-Hay Jay Bilas, ESPN
Clark Box-Top Kellogg, CBS
Charles Chucked-My-Burr Barkley, TBS
The NCAA Hair Jordan Futures Past Team
Chris OMG-I’m-Losing-To-Temple Collins, Northwestern
Ben Mohawkeye McCollum, Iowa
Shaka Got Smart, Marquette
Ritchie Big-Spray McKay, Liberty
Richard Why-Did-I-Take-After-Mom’s-Side Pitino, Xavier
Bottom Line: Come the fall (and we don’t mean autumn), plug or rug, shuck the sweatsuit and jump back into Armani. As Billy Crystal Ballin’ used to say, “It’s better to look good than to feel good.”
